Fall is here

Good Morning All,

Well alot has happen this weekend. Saturday we went and finally got family pics of just the 3 of us. It was nice. We went to Reno and returned some items and farted around. Saturday was a nice family day. William and Areil came down with the sneezys.. but it was good. Sunday we started our full on household diet. I started a new weight loss blog. William and I also started a detox/cleanese which should be good.  We also got the first snow storm of the season which looked wonderful. Made me thankful I did all the shopping and everything the day before. Other then that it was really a nice and relaxing weekend. I hope you all had the same.

Happy B-day to my sister Chantal. I hope you had a great one. LOve ya all

Updates

So I havent updated in awhile. For reasons of laziness. I know I promised to write weekly yet I didnt. I am sorry. But today is a new day and a new start.

Coffee

So I have come to the realization that I am beginning to really like coffee. It ofciurse has to have some additions like sugar and vanilla coffee mate. As most of you know I am a total PEPSI fanatic, it is the one thing I drink when I am stressed, sad, upset. It like a drug to me. I don’t know what it is but instead of going for a beer I go striaght to the Pepsi. I know I am Werid. So in an effort to stop drinking so much pepsi I have started drinking coffee. Can you believe that they say it a more natural caffeine. Ge’ez why is it that caffeine is so good damn!! So just something that was on my mind and thought I would post.

Update

I know I havent written much lately and I am sorry. Things here have been pretty busy. At the beginning of the month we had alittle scare with my dad. He was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks getting over phnewmonia (spelling I totally knw is wrong). He is better now and is back at home with Mom. We went down to Cali to visit him. On Friday, when we got there we went and saw him and when we left William and I thought that this is more serious they we thought. He isnt looking good and we werent sure if he was going to make it. We went and met up with Dan and Sara that night for dinner. Yolanda’s. Cant visit Ventura without going there for dinner. It was really good. then we went to the hotel and pretty much crashed. Saturday we met up with Mom and Dan and Sara again for B-fast. Since we cant see Dad for a long time we decided to go in the afternoon and then at night. Dad seemed to get better everytime we saw him. On Sunday we went out with Elizabeth and her family.. Got to see the baby… oh he is so cute. Also, my Sister and Brother from another mother (lucky devils) Marian and George joined us and Sara and Avery. It was a big b-fast at Denny’s. It was so nice to see everyone. Before we left we went and saw Dad and he looked so much better. Had is color back and was even joking around. It was nice. It really put William and I at ease. I think that weekend in Ventura really turned William around too. I think that he finally realized not only what he really wanted but what he was losing slowly if he didnt get it together. He asked me to move back in that weekend. Wanted me to know that he loved and and wanted us to be a family. A family that is together and not apart. At the time I told him that I think that we should still take our time in this and work on the things he wanted and I wanted. He agreed but I could tell he was upset. Since then we have been working on things and going to counseling. It has been a new side of our marriage. We have been working together on things and thoughts about our dreams and what we want to accomplish. It has been good. So this weekend and next weekend I will be gettting my things together to move back in. I think that its time. I am still in a state of confusion but my Kimmie the Counselor (lol) really put things together for me. She told me that I will always have this fear of him leaving and us seperating again, but life it to short to dewell on it. Well I got to get back to work. I will talk again soon…

Another Day … Another Tear

So … I started moving my stuff out of the house. Taking all the things that are mine and divided the rest. Got my own account and am ready to move the rest tonight. Its the saddest thing ever.

I did write him a letter… Just stating that I understand that he might need time and I might not understand but I will give him the space he needs. I also enclosed my engagement ring… I wrote ” I am enclosing my Engagement ring. I am giving you the ring that started it all. The ring that represents the first commitment in our lives. The commitment of love.  Once you find the love that you once had for me, like when you first gave me the ring. You can return it to me to show that your love has returned. I am going to keep my Wedding Ring to show you the commitment and love I have for you. I will wear the ring to show you that I am fighting for this relationship and I will wear it until there is no more fight left in me. I will wear it to show you that I love you and the vows we took are something I take very seriously. I love you William and I hope one day you will find that again. “ 

So tomorrow will be my last day in my home. I will be staying at my sisters until I get the money for my own place. Hopefully things will work out. Otherwise… there is always another road in life to take. Sometimes its better and sometimes worse but atleast you have that choice.

Separation!!!

Separation…. What does this really mean?

Well as most of you know … William and I are separting. He has come to the conclusion that he doesnt want to be with anyone right now. As he told me last night …. ” If A was 18 and off on her own I would be happy That way I could be hermit.. be by myself with noone around. “  That hit home for me last night. It sent me over the edge from crying and wondering the hell I did to pissed off and ready to try and be strong. No guarantees there. So … I am moving out. My sister came over last night and we started packing. I took all the pictures of our wedding off the wall. Pictures of Disneyland… Pictures of family. Packed them up … Tonight I will do the kitchen and finish the bedroom. Time to move out. All I can do is let him know that I will wait for him. Wait for him to decide. It hard to think that we once talked about being together forever and how we would spend our senior years together. I guess nothing is forever.

The hardest part of today was walking out the door without saying ” bye have a great day at work… LOVE YOU” I just kept telling myself if he wants to be alone then for the next few days.. I need to be invisable. I need to let him feel what he wants and just move on. Learn to be with myself and give him time. Maybe he will find the spark he once had for me and maybe he wont. But I guess that is what Love is all about… Giving time. As my friend told me ” Let your Love loose and if they come back its meant to be.. If not then its there loss and time to find the person that is really worth my tears of happiness”

AREIL IS OFFICALLY A TEENAGER TODAY!!

HAPPY B-DAY TO AREIL!!! SHE IS 13 (TEEN) TODAY.

THIS MORNING AFTER THE GYM, I WENT TO MCD’S AND GOT HER A SAUAGE MCGRIDDLE AND A HOT CHOCLATE SO I COULD SURPRISE HER WITH BREAKFAST. TONIGHT WE ARE GOING TO CHILI’S FOR DINNER WITH TRISHA, DON AND THE GIRLS. SO WE SHOULD HAVE TONS OF FUN.

HAPPY B-DAY AREIL!!!

Christmas… Merry Christmas to all !!

Hi All,

Well we had a wonderful white Christmas. We got a storm and it dump about 3 inches of snow during the day. (See Pics) Otherwise we had a great day. Areil woke us up at 7:30 and ofcourse William got up and grabbed his new toy. A Canon Video Camera. Man it was funny to see him with it all day. I will try and post some of the Videos.  We later went over to my sister’s for Presents and Dinner. She made a wonderful Roast with all the fixings. It was good.

Well I hope you all had a Great Holiday.

Bronchitis…………

Well I went to the Doctors this afternoon and I have Bronchitis…. Damn.. this sucks.

What a Saturday of Nothing…..

Well here I sit at the Dinning Room Table. William has a friend from work over and they are playing PS3. The boys are playing some shotting game. They move around so much that it makes me dizzy. So I am here at the table writting and drinking my MGD..(YES!!) … cooking dinner. Since we are low on money I went to the store and tried to come up with some really good dinners. So I came up with Tacos… Spanish Rice … Refied Beans for a Mexican Dinner. Which I am fixing tonight because there is nothing better then a Cold Beer and some Tacos. Tomorrow is Meat Loaf with steamed Vegs and Mashed Potatos. The one thing about Meat Loaf is that I always have orders. My Co-Worker  loves my meatloaf and William’s Co-Worker also loves it. So I have to make alittle extra for them. Well enough my Menu for the week. CAN YOU TELL I AM BORED!!???!?!?!? I do have to say its nice to be home with William even if he has a friend over. We havent had alot of time together and we were able to hang out this morning and I like to see him here having fun. Plus, Its nice to be able to just sit back and relax. Well Dinner is ready so …Need to stop groving to the NKOB Album and go finish dinner.  I hope you all are having a relaxing saturday like me. Big Huggs…